


But I can't compete with the she wolf who has brought me to my knees

by Bridgyara



Category: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Genre: Depression, F/F, Motherhood, No Lesbians Die, Pregnancy, Rape, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-06 22:52:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14067330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bridgyara/pseuds/Bridgyara
Summary: What happens when the miracle occurs in the wrong "moment". But no moment can really be wrong if it is so wonderful.A she-wolf does not hide from the world, she is just waiting for the right moment.





	1. She-Wolf

**Author's Note:**

> I have listened the song "She Wolf (Falling to Pieces)"  
> by David Guetta ft. SIA while writting this Fanfiction  
> \----  
> plays at the beginning of season 4.  
> Rose and Luisa are married.  
> Things happen that bring both closer together.  
> luisa is a broken soul that needs healing.  
> Rose helps where she can

She felt that she was standing there in a big, deep hole that closed over her and swallowed her. Without thinking about it for a long time, she knew that it was all up to her now. Suddenly a single flame appeared in front of her, burning brightly and red like the fur of a fox in the evening sun. Immediately, with the familiar warmth of the flame, her fast beating heart calmed down. She closed her eyes and sank into the darkness. Behind her eyelids, she saw the silhouette of the flame, and then as she listened closely, she heard a familiar, gentle giggle. A noise that she did not hear often but yet it reminded Luisa of something. Of someone. She opened her eyes and looked at a pair blue eyes that could only belong to a goddess. They hid the Arctic Ice in them, yet they glared at Luisa with so much warmth so that it Luisa consumed after them . But then these eyes darkened with horror and radiated such a deep sadness that Luisa's breath caught. Rose.Rose.Rose.

 

A shot in the dark  
A past lost in space  
Where do I start?  
The past and the chase  
You hunted me down  
Like a wolf, a predator

 

She heard a voice calling her name. Again and again. "Luisa ... Luisa ... Luisa ... wake up ... Luisa." Sweating and panting, Luisa woke up and looked into the blue eyes of Petra, a woman that never hated but also never accepted her. Luisa, on the other hand, liked Petra. She always wanted to have a better contact with the woman who won her little brother's heart and made him feel better, and yet it never worked. For a long time, Luisa thought she was the problem. That she would ruin everything. With her forbidden love for rose and alcohol. Thoughts that keeped her awake at night and brought her closer to alcohol. God, she would much rather drink a martini with three olivines than the water Petra held right under her nose. But she was not allowed to think that way. She did not think about a drink for four years, she was not going to throw this away. Rose would be disappointed with her. Gosh... Rose... she missed her so much. Luisa felt that Petra was talking to her, but she did not hear what she said. She was lost in the memories of the love of her life. She saw Rose on the first day of her meeting. How she came to this "woman bar" as if it belonged to her, how her eyes focused on Luisa and have never gone down since that day. Rose sitting by the pool, looking into her eyes as if she was searching for the explanation for a miracle in them, as the fireworks above both of them reflected in her eyes. She felt Rose holding her hair out of her face after another relapse, stroking her back and whispering sweet things in her ear. She heard Rose whimper under her and felt her pressed against her. Rose holding her in her arms. Rose, who confided her self-doubt to Luisa. She felt Rose who shuted her eyes and afterwards proudly surprised her with showing her their house. Their House. The house with the small garden Rose had planted for Luisa. With the citrus trees whose leaves rustle in the gentle wind and spread a tropical scent. She heard the ocean rushing in the distance and the seagulls screaming. She felt the book pages of the book she holds in her hands and then she feels the arms gently putted around her neck and the head burying itself in her hair. She smells the unmistakable scent of roses and sees out of the corner of her eye the fire-red hair gliding in the wind. She sees Rose. Rose. Her Rose.

 

I felt like a deer in the lights  
You loved me and I froze in time  
Hungry for that flesh of mine  
But I can't compete with the she wolf who has brought me to my knees

 

She sits in her book corner by the window and stares out of the window. Luisa sits down next to her. The next thing she remembers is Rose, who looks her in the eyes and says, "I ... love you. I really love you, Lu." Luisa feels that her heart freezes in the same moment and then beats in an even faster pace. "I love you too, Rose!". She moves into Rose's lap and hides her nose in Rose's neck. Then Rose said something that turned her world upside down. "Do you want to have a child with me?" Luisa's eyes widen and she stiffens in Rose's arms. All the memories of the past fall on her. She sees herself sitting sobbing on the bathroom floor. With Allison beside her. The blood under her. She feels the pain. The grief and despair of her wife and her doubts. She feels the distance. The hole that nothing will be able to fill . Luisa whimpers and buries her face in Rose's neck again. Hot tears flow down her cheeks and drip on Rose's shirt. She feels Rose's hands that pushed her even closer next to her body. Rose knows what she needs. Rose does not make her feel broken. Rose stays with her. "I'm ... scared, Rose .." she says after a long time sobbing.

 

Did she lie and wait  
Was I bait, to pull you in  
The thrill of the kill  
You feel, is a sin  
I lay with the wolves  
Alone, it seems

 

One night, when Rose was still her stepmother, Luisa cuddled up to Rose in bed and told her everything. Everything about her mistakes. Her body had betrayed her. He had not done what he should do. He had disappointed her. It almost destroyed her. He had killed her little miracles several times before they even started to live. Rose had held her. Firmly pressed against herself. She had kissed her. She had kissed her fingertips and then drove them very slowly over her abdomen. Reverently. As if she were the most precious treasure in the world. She had looked her straight in the eyes. Luisa had been overwhelmed by the incredible amount of love she saw in them. Rose loved her. Loved everything about her. She loved the storm in her and the little bird in the cage that nobody could hear singing. Nobody but Rose."You're not alone, Lu. It's both of us and our baby, I'll help you." Luisa gasped because she could not breathe because of the overwhelming sense of love she felt for her wife. A woman whose hands were often soiled with blood. A murderess. But it was Rose. Her Rose. Her wife. Her soulmate. Luisa knew this from the first moment.

 

Petra shook Luisa's arm when she saw the tears running down her cheeks. She did not feel too much sympathy for the woman infront of her , but she understood Luisa a bit. She had understood the deep feelings which Rose and Luisa shared and accepted them. A human is not only the things that he had done in his past. It counts so much more. So Petra had been more than shocked and sad when she had to watch Eileen's face peel off and look in the sapphire blue icy eyes of a notorious woman. The look in Rose´s eyes shocked all the people around her and let their blood freeze in their veins .It was the look of a she-wolf who has targeted her sheep.That's how it felt. As if all of them were Rose's victims. At the thought of it even now an icy chill ran over her back. She only saw anger in Rose´s eyes at the time and so she thought this was the anger about her capture and them, but then she saw that Rose's eyes were just focused on the policemen's hands on Luisa's body, who tried to get Luisa away from Rose as far as possible. It were the eyes of a monster. Or ... the eyes of a woman who wants to defend her soul mate. Rose was like a wild animal at that moment. A she-wolf defending her possessions. Petra watched as Rose tried to get out of the tight and painful grip of the policeman to get to Luisa. She threw herself forward. Against the handcuffs and the strong hands of the men. She only looked at Luisa. She was her only target. She heard Luisa shouting at Rose that she should stop. She saw the truncheon crashing on Rose. She saw the woman, whom she always saw as a kind of role model for herself, falling to the ground and staying there. Forced to the ground by a man. No longer able to straighten up. She heard Luisa screaming. She screamed.Screamed. And screamed Rose's name. 

 

I thought I was part of you  
You loved me and I froze in time  
Hungry for that flesh of mine  
But I can't compete with the she wolf who has brought me to my knees

 

That was now tree weeks ago. Luisa just walked around or stared at the wall. She ate nothing and looked very sickly and pale. She had been trying to see Rose for all those weeks, but she was not allowed to. She had not cried so it was very strange for Petra to see her crying. "Is everything alright with you? I have a meeting right now. I can not miss that. Should I call someone? Do you need something, Luisa?" Petra asked her after a long period of silence. Luisa shook her head and stared back into the water of the pool. Her dress was soaked with wather, but it seemed like she did not mind. It seemed like she was holding something in her hands so Petra tried to look over her shoulder. Suddenly Luisa looked over her shoulder and Petra saw her face. Her eyes were swollen red. Hot tears ran down her cheekbones in torrents and yet her eyes sparkled with happiness and her lips were bent into a narrow smile.

 

What do you see in those yellow eyes?  
'Cause I'm falling to pieces  
I'm falling to pieces  
I'm falling to pieces  
I'm falling to pieces  
Falling to pieces

 

"I'm ... pregnant. I'm pregnant, Petra, I'm going to have a baby and become a mother, Me and Rose will have a baby and become mothers. Our little baby. Our little miracle." Luisa whispered.


	2. Glow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to write about rose is kinda hard.  
> so it´s not the best chapter.  
> \------  
> and i have listened to the song Glow by Ella Henderson

Rose lies on a rock-hard bunk in a small single cell in which the only source of light is , a small window decorated with thick rods, that currently doesn´t give much light. In front of her layed a photo that her minions smuggled into prison for her. It was her most precious treasure in this desolate and forgotten place. She took the photo in her hands and at the sight she saw her lips curled into a slight smile and a wave of joy and love waved over her otherwise so gloomy mind. She looked at a concentrated Luisa biting her lip as she devoured the text passages of a book with her eyes. Sitting on the couch, with her knees drawn up, mussed hair and dressed in one of Rose's shirts that was to long for her small body.To escape from this horrible place, Rose remembers the day she saw this picture for the first time in real life. That day, Rose woke up and rolled over to the other side of the bed to cuddle up in to her wife. However, she just bumped into a cold sleeping place that carried the light scent of its owner. Murring, Rose opened her eyes to look around for Luisa. When she couldn´t find Luisa , she had a faint fear that Luisa might have left her. A fear she could not forget even after three years.So she straightens up in bed and swings her legs over the edge of the bed. As she gets up, she feels a throbbing, pleasant pain between her legs, which was due to the nocturnal activities of yesterday. She hisses because of the pain but continues her way to the basement. As she stood in the doorway to the living room, she saw her wife reading on the couch. This sight was so calm and angelic that Rose decided to immortalize it as a photo.At that time Luisa still did not notice Rose so she decided to go to her. But as she walked towards the couch her legs gave way and she plops on the floor. Startled by the noise,Luisa peeks over the couch just to see her naked and sulking wife sitting on the floor. Luisa went up to her wife and laughed as she looked into Rose's still pouting face. She bent down, picked Rose up and carried her up the stairs in as she whispered in her ear in a sultry voice Well, yesterday was a bit too much for you, Baby.Du you should rest. " Rose then gave a soft moan as she perceived the renewed wetness between her legs. Luisa laughs and lays her gently on their marriage bed.

 

Like a chest of hidden gold  
Shimmers in the depths below  
We are, we are, the treasures that they hide  
Like the sun that saves the night  
Bursting through a darkened sky  
We are, we are, soldiers of the light  
And we will glow

 

Rose feels the erection that accumulates in her abdomen and the soft tingling that is triggered by the memories of Luisa in her body. She missed her wife. They had been around each other for the past three years, so sex was not a rarity for them. Luisa is a very attractive and dominant woman. Guided by these memories, Rose's hand stroked down her body to her inner thighs, over which she drew featherweight circles with her fingertips. She felt the heat emanating from her midst and looked up to Luisa, who grinned at her and whispered to her, "Baby, spread your legs for me!" Then she looked at Rose's sticky middle and licked her lips. Rose whimpers fascinated by this fantasy and moved her hands closer to her center. At the same moment, Luisa lunged in her imagination and licked her tongue over her pussy. Rose groans at the thought aloud and squirms. She imagines how Luisa's hands grab her hips and press them forcefully on the cot .She licks the tip of her tongue against her clitoris or makes wide leaks with her entire tongue. Luisa dives into her and licks all her saps, while Rose is only able to whimper. Just before Rose could fall off the cliff of joy, Luisa stops licking and looks up at Rose as she licked her lips and her entire chin glistened with Rose´s moisture . "You taste heavenly, Rose." she says as she sticks her fingers in Rose just to get them out again and hold them againstRose´s lips, which then takes them in her mouth and sucks them. At the same moment with her imagination, Rose takes her fingers in her mouth, sucks on them and moans with pleasure.With her fingers, she then wanders down to her breasts tomassaging her nipples.She whimpers softly and in her imagination Luisa licks herself a way to her breasts. She licks the nipples and then takes it in the mouth to suck on it. After a while she dismisses itwith a loud "plop" back from her mouth.This makes it even harder and Rose whimpers again.Rose's and Luisa's fingers wander deeper and deeper between Rose´s legs.Rose's fingers enter her center while Luisa's fingers do the same. She moans and then pulls her legs up so that it looks like if she gives herself to the Imaginary Luisa .She can exactly imagine how Luisa growls at this sight Rose continues to whimper and then leans her head into Luisa's crook as Luisa whispers in her ear how beautiful she is and that she loves her.Then Rose comes with a loud scream that resembles Luisa's name. Her muscles tighten around her fingers and she hisses because of the pleasant pain when she pulls them out. As she lies there in her dark cell all alone, she regrets it. She misses Luisa. Of course she loves the sex. But the cuddling that follows is way better.When Luisa gives her a self-confident grin and they cuddle up together.When their foreheads are pressed against each other for a long time so they can look eachother in the eyes and express their love again and again. But here in this small cell, lying half naked on scratchy blankets was just false. Rose felt filthy.The only beautiful thing is the photo of her wife which Rose placed next to herself on the pillow. The silent tears that then rolled over her cheeks were just another reason for her to hate herself. She has become so weak. She had to be tough for Luisa. Plagued by these thoughts, she falls asleep.

 

We are fire, we are fire  
And our love will burn  
The flame will never die  
We are brighter, we are brighter  
Let's show 'em how we light up tonight  
And we will glow

 

A hand pressed over her mouth and Rose starts to awake from her sleep. It was dark in her cell and she could not see something. She only felt and heard a warm breath on her neck. Her own breath quickened and she kicked her limbs The next thing she felt were hands forcing her legs and arms down onto the cot and holding her tightly. The pressure was painful and uncomfortable, but Rose did not want to show any signs of it. She was already thinking about how to free herself. It should be about three or four people in this room , so she was clearly outnumbered, and that´s why she decided to give in first and then take advantage of a suitable moment. She relaxed her body and lay down quite calmly on her cot. She heard a sigh of relief just above her and then a voice: "That's it, sweetie. Calm down. We just want to look at each other and talk quietly.He like´s you, baby. So you better stop fighting. That could be bad for you. Just lie still, sweetheart. " Rose still could not see anything but now she was sure that there were only women around her. She had heard of him. Many women here have whispered about him and started blushing because of thinking about him. Rose could never understand anything like that. How did they do it? How can they choose a man over a woman like Luisa. Over her beautiful, clever and gentle wife. Suddenly a light goes on and interrupted her thoughts. Rose blinked in surprise and looked around. Four prisoners stood around her. Rose did actually know the one who kept her mouth shut. It was Seong-Min. One of the most feared women in this jail. Well at least for everyone else. Rose was an international criminal mastermind after all. "Rostro, we will take your clothes off now. " said Seong-Min which made Rose startle and bite her palm. She hissed painfully but did not let go of Rose's mouth. "You little lesbian bitch. You did not want it otherwise. Then we just do it on the less nice way." Hands pulled on Rose's clothes and she heard a tearing noise and then a little later she was laying on her cot only in underwear. Rose squirmed and tried to escape from the hands. She felt a tremendous rage and shame about herself. How could she be beaten by such people? The hands stroked her body and pulled her last clothes off her body. Rose crossed her legs and looked resolutely into Seong-Min's eyes. Who just laughed at the sight and grinned down at her. Rose was not paying attention to the others anymore. She was so angry. But suddenly, Seong-Min's minion leaned over Rose, grabbed besides her pillow, and said, "Boss, here's a picture of a woman." while she grinned dirty. Rose would have liked to beat this grin out of her face. She squirmed and tried to shake off her hands. Seong-Min held her even harder and looked at the photo thoroughly. "So you're really a lesbian. Hmmm ... I'm sure he'll like it. I'd rather submit or would you like him to visit your little girlfriend ? Who knows, maybe he would like her even more than you. He always had something over for Latinas. Think good of what's important to you, Rostro. If you're proper, she'll be fine, if not ... well you will then see it yourself. " Rose's eyes were freezing cold and hid the terrible fear that she felt. They were not allowed to hurt Luisa. She would never be the same after this. She thought of Luisa. How she walked up to her in that beautiful white dress and some strands of her hair that fell out of her bun.Her eyes sparkled with happy tears. With these beautiful memories in mind, Rose gave up her resistance and closed her eyes.

 

So let them build their righetous tower  
Our blazing hearts will burn it down  
We are, we are, soliders of the light  
And we will glow  
We are fire, we are fire  
And our love will burn  
The flame will never die  
We are brighter, we are brighter  
Let's show 'em how we light up tonight  
And we will glow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why do i have to hurt rose.  
> but don´t worry.rose will beat someone in the face in the next chapters.

**Author's Note:**

> if someone hates me know. i´m sorry. i just love to write dramatic storys.


End file.
